Monthly Archives: October 2012

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Fall Fling: a dating and relationships news roundup

This may be our last time to get it on outside in a long time, darling!

Autumn – arguably the most romantic season – has been a busy one for Junia Matchmaking Services, but I’m trying to keep up on current events regardless. Lovers take heart! I’m still here for you.

According to naturopath Natasha Turner, there are plenty of good reasons to get it on a regular basis, including stress relief, pain reduction, mood enhancement and immune boosting. Sounds like an excellent incentive to take off some of those kicky fall layers!

But just because it’s good for you doesn’t mean you’re supposed to do it right away, apparently – at least, not if you want to get married. According to The Independent, “More than half the women who married directly had deferred sexual involvement for longer than six months, compared with only 6.5 per cent of women who were cohabiting. The couples were also asked about the quality of their relationships, including giving scores for commitment, intimacy, sexual satisfaction, communication and conflict. Results show that for women, all the scores were better if sex was delayed for one month. A similar trend was found for men, but the differences were not so great.” A more in-depth conversation with one of the study’s authors can be found here.

Speaking of marriage, we’re all really inordinately depressed about Danny and Rhea – but why? Setting aside the fact that they are the couple most clearly made for each other in the history of time – if only from a height perspective – theories abound. Zosia Bielski, writing in the Globe and Mail, suggests that the only time the public-at-large empathizes with celebrity marital woes is when the partners have been together for decades. This supposedly erodes “our hope for our own marital longevity.” Those unlucky enough to become Adult Children of Divorce are especially whiny about it, apparently. But as offspring of a “grey divorce” myself, I’m not buying that it’s simply about my own childish refusal to accept reality. Maybe it’s time to rethink our expectations of marriage – which developed hundreds if not thousands of years ago – as a life sentence? As one of my friends opined when I wrote about this on Facebook,

“We hold on to the idea of forever being some value to live up to instead of appreciating the time for what it is. It was easy to be married for life when two of your three wives were going to die in childbirth.”

Singles take heart! Do you have opposite-gender friends? A recent study finds they’re secretly really hot for you. Note to all my male friends – you haven’t been fooling me for a second.

“Telling women how to improve themselves in order to come by a spouse only devalues marriage. It makes it a fake accolade of success, like a designer handbag.” Author Helen Croydon takes on that thrice-married know-it-all Tracy McMillan, who has expanded one of the most simplistic and offensive blogs I’ve ever read into a snarky self-help book: Why You’re Not Married… Yet. Here’s Croydon’s review/response, published in The Telegraph.

Ready to give up yet? Don’t! The Atlas Moth, probably the most gorgeous insect on the planet, has it way worse than we do – hardwired to pursue love every second of its seven-day existence. I can think of worse ways to go.