A recent search in my quest to answer a perennial client question, “How do you know they’re The One?” yielded some predictable results. It appears this very universal – and to those who have not yet known the pleasure, rather pressing – query has provoked very little in the way of academic inquiry. Nobody’s gathering the data, despite an abundance of anecdotal evidence – and much of that is unenlightening, repetitive, and downright useless as a source of information or even inspiration. So many of them also read like love at first sight stories that my natural skepticism kicks in.
Of course, I also remember the two recent studies which found that subjects induced to exchange mutual unbroken gaze for two minutes with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other.In addition, BBC Science reports that New York professor of psychology Dr. Arthur Aron conducted a related experiment in which he “asked two complete strangers to reveal to each other intimate details about their lives. This carried on for an hour and a half. The two strangers were then made to stare into each others eyes without talking for four minutes. Afterwards many of his couples confessed to feeling deeply attracted to their opposite number and two of his subjects even married afterwards.
I’m in no position to conduct my own study currently, never mind publish it – my crack web designer and programmer is still busy making our polls look as pretty as they should. But I am in a fairly unique position to judge the quality of such true-life tales. So I want to hear from you, lovers – particularly those who are currently enjoying smug soul-mate status with somebody special.
But for love’s sake, please don’t tell me “I looked into his/her/their eyes and I just knew.” Because seriously – while that may have been when the moment of realization dawned, unless you were hypnotized, you should be able to recall some of the details leading up to that instant.
What did The One (or as I prefer to style it, The One You Chose) do or say just before you “just knew”? What time of year was it? What were you wearing? What were they wearing? Did you have to pee? Could you smell anything funny? Or did it really just hit you then and there? And if that’s the case, how on earth did you recover from, and cover (or reveal) that realization? Come now – dish the dirt here, or in the (moderated) comments. Give us some hope. Bonus points if you met them online. I won’t publish everything, but I’ll read them all – that’s a promise.